


querencia

by jikwaniser



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, based off that one svt club ep where verkwan go to jeju, skinny love, slight angst, this fic is just fluffy as hell really, uhh slight depression and anxiety references, verkwan, vernon is scared of feelings, vernon loves seungkwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 19:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14940570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jikwaniser/pseuds/jikwaniser
Summary: Vernon loved Seungkwan, he just didn't know how to show it.Seungkwan loved Vernon, even if Vernon didn't realize.When they go to Jeju, their feelings for eachother become even more complicated.Or 5 times Vernon and Seungkwan are oblivious to their feelings, and 1 time they figure it out.





	querencia

i.

 

Seungkwan had never been a fan of airplanes. No matter how many times he would be on one, whether it be a short flight home or even a longer when like when they visited the states, Seungkwan’s anxiety was through the roof. There was customs, where he was forced to take off his shoes and have a bunch of people search his bags, judging him for bringing his stuffed seal, (Minghao and Chan had bought it for him when they visited that aquarium in Japan, he had named him Tom Keech, after the mean sea lion) or having to run to his plane, dragging his heavy luggage behind him. Then there was take off, the turbulence giving him a headache and making him scared as the plane shook before finally entering into the sky. The rest of the flight would be smooth, but Seungkwan hated being stuck in the air for hours on end, especially if he was traveling alone. So yeah, Seungkwan hated airplanes, but there was a person who always managed to make his worries seem to disappear when it came to airports and flying.

 

“Boo? Do you want the window seat or outside seat?” Seungkwan looked up from his booklet, meeting eyes with Vernon, who had his headphones around his neck and his eyebrows raised. Apparently, he had been staring at Seungkwan for a while because when he finally looked up, Vernon repeated the question.

 

“Hmm,” Seungkwan closed his travel guide, biting his lip. “I guess outside seat?” Vernon hummed in response, placing his bulky headphones back over his ears as he slid into the seat closest to the window, Seungkwan sliding in next to him. He set his bag down in front of him, deciding he would rather have it close and cramping then to have to deal with the luggage compartment; Vernon followed suit, his bag laying on top Seungkwan’s.

 

“Vernonnie” Seungkwan tapped Vernon’s shoulder softly, the younger removing his headphones and turning to face Seungkwan. “Can you, uhm, hold my hand during take-off?” Seungkwan felt his face turn red, quickly turning to avoid eye contact with Vernon, who had a big smirk plastered across his face.

 

Seungkwan tensed up as Vernon moved to grab his thigh, squeezing and then rubbing it, then reaching for his hand. “Of course.”

 

Seungkwan smiled, relaxing under his touch. Vernon smiled, squeezing Seungkwan’s hand as the speaker chirped on, the captain’s voice alerting that the take-off was about to start and informing everyone to buckle up. Seungkwan would be lying if he didn’t consider getting off that airplane right then and there, but Vernon gave a tight squeeze once more, letting his lips graze upon Seungkwan’s knuckles.

 

“Come on” Vernon smiled, “let go of my hand so we can buckle, you can regrab it as soon as we’re buckled.” Seungkwan nodded, releasing Vernon’s hand. He and the younger buckled, fastening their seat belts, before Vernon kissed Seungkwan’s knuckles again, quickly grabbing and squeezing his hand as Seungkwan finished buckling as well. He smiled at Vernon, trying to calm his nerves, as the plane began taking off. As the plane began its turbulence, he inhaled sharply, beginning to shake in fear. He felt his eyes begin to well up, quickly using the hand that was death gripping his seat to wipe his eye, before moving it back. His knuckles were sheet white, the veins nearly popping from how hard he was gripping the seat. He bit his lip, closing his eyes and trying to distract himself when Vernon began carefully rubbing his thumb against his knuckle. Seungkwan opened his eyes and looked at him, Vernon soothing him. Seungkwan laid his head against his shoulder, closing his eyes while Vernon whispered in his ears, his fears slowly diminishing as the plane began to fly smoothly.

 

Seungkwan lifted his head from Vernon’s shoulder, whispering a small thank you as he began looking out the window from over the younger’s shoulder, the two pointing at clouds and telling stories about the shapes they seemed to form. Their hands still linked together.

 

Their hands still were together when the plane landed, and as they went to luggage claim, only releasing to grab their respected suitcases, their hands clasping again as they rolled their suitcases through the crowded airport. Vernon smiled as Seungkwan’s eyes lit up when they got to the car, a driver holding a sign that read “Boo Seungkwan and Chwe Vernon”. The two placed their luggage into the trunk and slid into the car, only to regrab each other’s hands.

 

ii.

  


The two arrived in Jeju close to lunchtime, Seungkwan promising that they could go to his house for marinated crab and a feast from Mrs. Boo and a firm handshake from Mr. Boo. They had a car pick them up from the airport and take them immediately to Seungkwan’s family home. Jeju was such a quaint island, it was serene and simple, much different from the hustle and bustle of Seoul. The drive from the local airport to the Boo’s home was only a short drive, but the two had enough time to marvel at the beautiful scenery of the ocean Jeju Island was home to.

 

Vernon was mesmerized, staring out the window as the car continued to drive. Seungkwan stared out the opposite window, his cheeks puffed up and eyes sparkling as he excitedly explained each landmark to the younger. His eyes crinkled up as Vernon mentioned the time the members had visited Jeju during their debut period, Seungkwan being the tour guide that time as well.

 

“Things have changed since then.” Vernon nodded, noting how there were more shopping areas and retail shops than before, the island becoming commercialized. “I haven’t been home in a year.” Seungkwan was turned back to the window, his voice whispering.

 

Vernon bit his lip. He knew just how much Seungkwan cared about his family, especially his mother. He would usually visit them during long breaks, but they had been so busy with their comebacks and reality show, he had not time to visit them in person, just a small video call after rehearsals. After which, Seungkwan’s cheeks would be tear-stained and Vernon would be there to wrap him in warmth, reminding him he would see his family again soon.

 

That’s another thing; their reality show. Seventeen Club was the reason Vernon was traveling to Jeju with Seungkwan in the first place. It was a miracle that Seungkwan had managed to convince their managers and staff to let the two boys go alone, and Vernon was super excited to see Seungkwan’s family without the constant pressure of a camera shoved in front of his face. Just him and Seungkwan, enjoying Jeju together.

 

The car finally pulled up to the Boo residence, Seungkwan quickly thanking the driver and heading to the trunk to grab his and Vernon’s luggage before nearly running to the door. Vernon laughed, grabbing his own suitcase from Seungkwan and slung his backpack over his shoulder, following suit. The door swung open before Seungkwan could even knock, Mrs. Boo appearing and wrapping Seungkwan into a tight hug. Vernon smiled, waving before Mrs. Boo pulled him for a hug as well.

 

“Boys, I am so glad you’re here. How was the flight?” She asked, helping the two bring their luggage inside. She led them into the family room, inviting them to have a seat. Seungkwan sat on the loveseat, pulling Vernon down next to him. Vernon felt his face redden, Seungkwan continuing talking with his mother like nothing happened. He was nearly on top of Seungkwan, his thigh rubbing against Seungkwan’s bare leg. He let his hand rest against Seungkwan’s thigh, gently patting it as Seungkwan informed his mother that their flight was good. (Failing to mention the part where he and Vernon held hands for the entire flight and most of the car-ride here, not that his mother would care, she loved them) Mrs. Boo smiled at the two of them, before standing and heading into the kitchen to finish lunch, leaving the two alone.

 

Seungkwan placed his hand on top of Vernon’s, letting his thumb rub against his knuckles, humming softly. Vernon scooted back closer to Seungkwan, allowing for him to lay his head against the younger’s shoulder, letting his fingers card through Seungkwan’s hair. Seungkwan sighed contently, letting his eyes close as he felt the warm embrace of Vernon beside him. He was finally home in Jeju, with his best friend by his side, and he never felt more content.

 

Seungkwan’s eyes fluttered open at the sound of his mother’s voice letting him and Vernon know lunch was ready. Seungkwan looked at Vernon, the younger still letting his one hand rest on Seungkwan’s thigh and the other carding lazily through his hair. He smiled down, letting go and helping Seungkwan up, the two suddenly hurrying into the kitchen when they smelled the feast Mrs. Boo had prepared.

 

“Enjoy boys, let me know if you need anything.” She smiled, the two thanking her before sitting down and digging in. Mrs. Boo’s cooking was like home, it was comforting and hearty and made Seungkwan (and to a large extent Vernon, who currently had already gobbled three marinated crab legs in mere minutes and was not considering stopping at any point) like he was a little kid again. He adjusted the camera before taking another bite, filming his and Vernon’s mukbang. The two continued eating, telling the camera about their flight and how good the food was, Mrs. Boo occasionally placing more food in front of the two. After a good twenty minutes of filming, Seungkwan turned the camera off contently. He then looked over at Vernon and laughed, the younger looked like he was about to die when his mom placed yet another bowl of food in front of them, Vernon whining out as she insisted he eat it all up since he was a “growing boy”. Vernon smiled, taking a small bite to please Mrs. Boo before she walked away, Vernon placing the fork down and laying back with his eyes closed, admitting defeat.

 

“You full?” Seungkwan teased, taking one last bite of his kimchi.

 

Vernon sighed, “You have no idea, your mom is a master. No wonder you love coming home.” Seungkwan giggled.

 

“It’s the reason I was a fat kid.” He bit the inside of his cheek, the sudden memories of his childhood here resurfacing. Of course, he had a great childhood, he had a mom who loved him and a dad who provided for him, not to mention two sisters who would play dolls with him with no qualms or questions about it; but he had always dealt with the same thing most kids and teenagers do, insecurity. He knew he wasn’t exactly a small child, he had always had chubby cheeks that his family adored, and he was constantly called chubby by his sisters, but they had never meat it in a bad way; it was in a fond sense. Even if he had lost all this weight and started feeling better about his body, he always had the sense of not being good looking or attractive, especially around the other members. He sighed, pushing his plate away, locking eyes with Vernon.

 

“You were not fat, shut up.” He said laughing, gently shoving Seungkwan’s shoulder. “Besides, your chubby cheeks are the cutest.” He squeezed his cheek, laughing again as Seungkwan whined and smacked his hand away, fake glaring at Vernon.

 

“Yah! I invite you home and you choose to tease me? I am hurt.” He pretended to wipe a tear, before joining Vernon in a fit of laughter. Seungkwan always admired the way Vernon tended to laugh with his whole body, his shoulders shaking and eyes scrunched up, it was such an enticing sight.

 

“You are so dramatic.” Vernon finally admitted when they had calmed down from their laughing fit.

 

“But you love it,” Seungwan smirked, moving to gather his and Vernon’s plates and place them into the sink. Vernon stopped him, grabbing his and starting to wash them.

 

“Maybe I do,” Vernon responded finally, his hands covered in soapy water as he scrubbed away at his plates. Seungkwan walked behind him and laid his chin against Vernon’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist as he continued washing the dishes. Seungkwan began humming again, the same song he was humming on the couch earlier.

 

Vernon must have realized, “What song are you humming, Boo?”

 

“It’s called Last Love, I sang it for my Pledis audition.” Vernon finished washing his last plate, Seungkwan unwrapping himself and switching spots with him so he could wash his dishes.

 

Vernon wrapped his arms around Seungkwan, the same way Seungkwan had done to him. “I don’t think I’ve heard it.” He nuzzled his face into Seungkwan’s shoulder. “Sing it for me.”

 

Seungkwan laughed, setting down the bowl he was washing into the sink.

 

_“How much pain are you in? When I’m in this much pain_

_Because the leaving one is supposed to be more hurt_

_Don’t say anything, I know how you feel_

_I’m holding all my tears, so don’t make me cry_

_Break-ups make the time stop_

_It takes away everything but memories_

_Even if I try so hard to smile_

_I’ll probably cry even when I eat_

_You, only you_

_My first love, my last love_

_One thing that cannot be changed from now on_

_You are my love, forever”_

 

Seungkwan finished singing and quietly picked the bowl back up, finishing washing it. Vernon remained silent, his eyes closed as he let the resonance of Seungkwan’s voice fill the small kitchen. It was no surprise that Seungkwan was an amazing singer, he was the main vocal for a reason, but something about the song gave Vernon chills.

 

“That was beautiful.” He finally whispered, Seungkwan giggled and rinsed the last plate off before setting them to dry on the drying rack next to the sink. Even as Seungkwan moved away from the sink, Vernon kept himself wrapped around Seungkwan.

 

He tickled the younger’s hands, “Let go Vernonnie!” He whined when Vernon only squeezed him tighter.

 

“Well aren’t you two cute.” Mrs. Boo walked in on them, chuckling fondly at the two. “Thank you for washing the dishes, you didn’t have to.”

 

Vernon finally let go of Seungkwan, turning to bow at her. “It was no trouble, think of it as a thank you for the delicious meal Mrs. Boo.” He straightened and smiled at her.

 

She shook her head and tutted, “Please, Mrs. Boo makes me feel old. Call me mom.” Seungkwan felt his cheeks redden, his mom was just aiming to make him collapse on the spot.

 

“Thanks mom.” Vernon cheekily responded, his hand grabbing, and squeezing, Seungkwan’s. Seungkwan wanted to implode then and there.

 

iii.

 

After lunch, and looking through his mother’s old photo albums of him (he had been home for two hours and was already prepared to die of embarrassment-- Oh, Vernon was laughing like crazy at every picture, yep, he was gonna die), the two boys had brought their luggage up into Seungkwan’s old room. Whenever it was confirmed he would be training at Pledis, he had pretty much packed all he could into his suitcase, unsure of how much room the trainees would have (spoiler alert, very little) leaving much of his belongings in his old room. He placed his suitcase onto the bed and began emptying it into drawers, Vernon chose to just lay his suitcase on the floor beside the dresser and jumped onto the bed to lay down.

 

“You’re not going to unpack?” Seungkwan asked, hanging up another shirt. Vernon closed his eyes, laying an arm across his stomach.

 

“Nah, I may do it later I just need to lay down now. Try to sleep off this food coma.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes as Vernon faked a snore. After putting all his clothes away and sliding his now empty suitcase under the bed, he collapsed next to Vernon on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling and then turned to face Vernon. The younger’s eyelashes fanned against his cheeks and his lips puckered out everytime he breathed, it was truly a sight. Seungkwan smiled fondly, watching the younger “sleep”.

 

“Enjoying staring at me?” Vernon broke the silence, eyes still closed.

 

Seungkwan startled, quickly turning back to look at the ceiling. “Thought you had actually fallen asleep.”

 

“It’s like 2 in the afternoon,” He rolled over, stretching his arms over his head, “Besides, you were meant to show me around town.” Seungkwan ‘hmm’ed in response, pulling himself up and off the bed.

 

He slid on some sandals and grabbed his jacket, “Well, let’s go then.”

  


Jeju-do was really so beautiful, the view from the car nowhere near giving it enough justice. Seungkwan’s family home was very close to the beach so the two boys decided to go there first, their toes enjoying the warm sand and their fingers twined as they walked down the shore of the beach. Seungkwan pulled out their camera, filming their beach “date” for Seventeen Club. Along the water, there was a path of stones, supposed to be some sort of massager for your feet, and Seungkwan convinced Vernon to walk across the stones, barefoot. The younger quickly obliged, running across the stones (more like stumbling), as Seungkwan filmed him laughing.

 

“You’re not supposed to wear shoes!” Vernon’s eyes widened before he removed his shoes and walked across the stones barefoot.

 

“Seungkwan!” He yelled, “you better join me!” Seungkwan laughed again, tossing his sandals to the side and walking across the stones.

 

Seungkwan walked two steps before completely giving up all hope, jumping off the stones and walking back to the sand and sliding his sandals back on. Vernon actually finished walking across, Seungkwan watching in awe as he filmed him. Vernon hobbled over to Seungkwan, a wide smile plastered onto his face before he turned and pointed off into the distance.

 

“Kwannie! Look!” The sun was beginning to set. “Let’s go take pictures and watch the sunset.” They walked over to the massive rocks, Vernon helping Seungkwan up on top, as the sun began to set. Seungkwan leaned his head against Vernon’s shoulder, the younger wrapping his arms around him as they watched the sun begin to set. Vernon’s eyes lit up as the sky changed colors, the blue transitioning to a pinkish-purple and the sun a bright orange; Seungkwan began watching Vernon rather than the sky, he was the real beauty honestly. Vernon’s eyes crinkled up whenever he was watching something and his mouth always remained slightly open, it was such a fond sight.

 

“Let’s take some pictures.” Seungkwan broke the silence, Vernon turned away from the sunset and nodded.

 

“You know,” Vernon said after their photo shoot, the two boys strolling across the shoreline with their fingers intertwined. “The sunset was beautiful, but I was more beautiful.”

 

Seungkwan pushed him into the water.

  


xx

 

That night, Seungkwan ended up convincing Vernon to share his bed with him. Originally, Vernon had been persistent on sleeping on the floor, even though Seungkwan had a double bed, and Seungkwan was refusing to take no for an answer.

 

( _“Vernon, there’s enough room for both of us.” Seungkwan whined. Vernon shook his head no, placing his hands up in a placating manner._

_“No, no. I’m okay, I promise.”_

_“At least let me take the floor then, you should have the bed.”_

_“But I’m the guest, and it’s your bed.”_

_“Vernon just sleep in my damn bed.”_ )

 

So the two were cuddled up together in Seungkwan’s bed, their legs wrapping around each other as they laid awake and stared up at the ceiling. It was past midnight, Seungkwan thought Vernon had fallen asleep but he was just as awake as Seungkwan. They remained silent, just squished together and staring at the blank ceiling.

 

“Hey, Kwan?” Vernon broke the silence after two hours, his voice slightly cracked from not speaking for a while. Seungkwan ‘hmm’ed in response, letting him know he was awake. “Thank you.”

 

Seungkwan turned to him, “For what?”

 

Vernon shrugged, “For everything, I guess. Letting me come to Jeju with you, letting me sleep in your bed, for being my friend.” He paused, looking at Seungkwan before continuing. “For never giving up on me.”

 

“Vernon, you know I love you. You mean so much to me.” Seungkwan grabbed his hand and squeezed it, cuddling in closer to him. Vernon sighed, running his thumb over Seungkwan’s knuckles, kissing it softly.

 

“Goodnight Boo.”

 

It became quiet again, the only sounds in the room being them breathing. Seungkwan soon fell asleep, wrapped in the warm embrace of Vernon and his love.

  
  


iv.

 

Seungkwan woke up to an empty space beside him the next morning. He sat up, checking the time to see it was just after nine. He pulled himself out of bed, walking down the stairs and into the kitchen, only to be greeted by Vernon cooking breakfast for his family, laughing as Mrs. Boo told him some childhood story about Seungkwan.

 

“Well, look who finally decided to join us.” Mrs. Boo teased, taking another sip of coffee before walking over and hugging her son. “Morning Seungkwan, Vernon is making us breakfast.”

 

Seungkwan nodded and walked to the fridge, running a tired hand through his bed head. “Vernon never cooks, he probably wants something.” He pulled out a pitcher of water and poured himself a glass, ignoring the way Vernon glared at him.

 

“Maybe I just wanted to be nice to you guys for hosting me this weekend!” Vernon turned the burner off, pouring the eggs into the bowls of rice and bringing them to the table.

 

“You would be doing us a favor by not cooking, you aren’t Mingyu,” Vernon whined.

 

“Hey! I can cook!” He gestured to the breakfast, Mrs. Boo taking a small bite and smiling at Vernon.

 

“It’s very good dear.” Vernon beamed, ignoring Seungkwan’s snort.

 

“It’s just eggs on rice mom.”

 

“It’s more than you ever cook.”

 

“I would be mad, but you aren’t wrong.” Seungkwan sighed in defeat, taking another bite of his breakfast. Vernon smiled, laughing at his childish antics, it was such a cute sight.

 

The rest of breakfast remained pretty silent after that, the three just eating in peace, the occasional scraping of chopsticks against the ceramic bowls. When they finished, Mrs. Boo collected their dishes, shooing the two out of the kitchen so she could wash them.

 

“You guys did the dishes yesterday, I can clean them.” She insisted to Vernon, who was willing to wash his plate. “You boys go get ready, aren’t you meeting with Myunghoon today?” Seungkwan’s eyes lit up at that. quickly pulling Vernon up the stairs behind him.

 

“I totally forgot we were hanging out with him today!” Seungkwan explained as the two were getting ready, Vernon quiet the entire time. “I haven’t seen him in forever, he’s my best friend.” Vernon stiffened at that, forcing a smile as Seungkwan kept talking about him.

 

They had planned to meet at a small café just a few miles from the beach, Seungkwan led the way, talking about Myunghoon the entire trip and Vernon just shoving his hands into his hoodie pocket, trying to drown out Seungkwan’s praises. They got to the café, Seungkwan walking in and immediately finding Myunghoon, waving excitedly as he walked over to greet him.

 

“Seungkwan! It’s so good to see you again!” He smiled, pulling him in for a hug. They pulled back and Seungkwan gestured to Vernon.

 

“This is my friend Vernon.” Vernon smiled and introduced himself, bowing.

 

Myunghoon laughed, “I know Vernon, Seungkwan. You act like I don’t support Seventeen.”

 

The trio sat outside, wanting to take advantage of the nice weather. Seungkwan set the camera up as they ordered drinks, Myunghoon sitting dangerously close to Seungkwan. Vernon felt himself scowl anytime Myunghoon would lay his hand against Seungkwan’s arm or laugh a little too long at something he said, was it jealousy? No, (It definitely was) Vernon was just protective of Seungkwan.

 

Vernon found himself not saying much the whole time, only casually saying something whenever Seungkwan would mention something about him, Myunghoon and Seungkwan did most of the talking. Vernon sighed, stirring his drink with his straw as he tried to ignore the two. He decided to text Joshua, hoping it would distract him some.

  


_fondnon_

 

hey hyung, how’s the dorm?

  


_Joshua Hong_

 

It’s okay, very quiet without you and Seungkwan

 

_Joshua Hong_

 

Speaking of, aren’t you supposed to be hanging out with him right now?

  


Vernon bit his lip, Joshua was always one to interrogate him.

 

_fondon_

 

yeah, we’re just talking to this old friend of his and i feel like

 

_fondon_

 

left out i guess

 

_Joshua Hong_

 

You’re jealous, aren’t you?

 

_fondon_

 

i don’t get jealous josh

 

_Joshua Hong_

 

You do when it comes to Seungkwan

 

_Joshua Hong_

 

yeah we all know you’ve been pining over him since debut vernon

  


Vernon groaned when he realized Jeonghan had gotten involved, he was going to talk to him when he got back.

  


_fondon_

 

jeonghan hyung i have not

 

_fondon_

 

anyway i have to go

 

_Joshua Hong_

 

bye bye vernon! go get your man <33

 

Seungkwan and Myunghoon were still laughing it up, Vernon getting more and more annoyed as an hour together turned into two, Vernon still not included in the conversation. He stood up, walking inside and to the bathroom, not bothering to turn around when Seungkwan asked where he was going. He splashed his face with water, looking up at the mirror to see his eyes were slightly red. He sighed, leaning against the sink with his eyes closed. He opened them when he heard the bathroom door open, Seungkwan entering.

 

“Vernonnie?” He softly said, “Are you in here?”

 

Vernon swallowed his pride and walked towards Seungkwan, “We need to talk.”

 

Seungkwan nodded, his fingers twisting together as he looked at the floor. “If it’s about Myunghoon-”

 

“Why have you been ignoring me? I thought this trip was supposed to be about us.” Seungkwan looked up at that, a frown on his face.

 

“Like you weren’t texting Joshua-hyung the whole time.” He muttered under his breath. Vernon’s eyes widened at that.

 

“I was only texting him because you were, ogling over Myunghoon the whole afternoon!”

 

“I’m sorry I want to have a good time with a friend I haven’t seen in five years, Vernon.” Seungkwan huffed, arms crossing over his chest.

 

“It’s not that! I just-” He got cut off by Seungkwan.

 

“You’re just jealous, aren’t you?” It became quiet in the bathroom, Vernon looking away from Seungkwan.

 

“Maybe I am.”

 

Seungkwan walked towards Vernon, lifting his chin with his finger. “He may be my best friend.” Seungkwan said, rubbing Vernon’s jaw, “But you’re more than that to me.”

 

Vernon looked confused, “What do you mean more…?” He trailed off, Seungkwan rolling his eyes.

 

“When I said I loved you yesterday, I meant it, Vernon.” Vernon remained silent, the cogs in his brain working like clockwork to comprehend what he had just said.

 

“Oh.” He responded after a moment of silence. “You love me.”

 

Seungkwan nodded, his cheeks tinged red. “I do.”

 

Vernon remained silent, unsure of what to say. “Thanks.” He finally blurted out, Seungkwan’s eyes widening before he starts to cry.

 

“I confess my love to you and you thank me?” He wipes his tears, unable to control his tears. “Tell me you love me back.” He whispers, his hand grabbing for Vernon’s, eyes still red with tears. “Tell me you want to be with me.”

 

_I love you. I love you too. You mean so much to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you._ Vernon wants to tell him, he wants to confess to Seungkwan, scream it into the distance but he remains silent, unable to say anything.

 

“I don’t know why I said anything, you don’t love me back.” Seungkwan drops his hands, turning to leave. “I’ll see you back home.” His eyes begin to water up and he quickly leaves, not looking back; leaving Vernon alone in the bathroom without a second thought.

 

v.

 

Vernon had debated going back home for a while. He wanted to confront Seungkwan about what had happened in the bathroom, but he also knew the older needed his space. He decided to walk to the beach, his hands shoved into his pockets as he walked across the sand, kicking stones that were in front of him. Myunghoon was gone by the time Vernon had left the bathroom, not bothering to say goodbye; he probably walked Seungkwan home when he saw him crying. The beach was completely empty, even at three in the afternoon, and Vernon had never felt more alone. He stopped walking, sitting on the sand and did something he hadn’t done in years; he cried.

 

He cried for himself, for being too stubborn and oblivious to his feelings. He cried for Seungkwan, for hurting him and making him cry. He just cried, not bothering to calm himself down. He cried for probably twenty minutes, his sobs turning into sniffles as he wiped away his tears and stood up. He brushed himself off and checked his phone, he had no notifications; he figured he wouldn’t, but it still hurt.

 

He stood in place, questioning whether to go back to Seungkwan’s home and talk to him or to just be a coward and take the first flight back to Seoul. He couldn’t leave Seungkwan, he couldn’t leave Jeju knowing he had made him cry. He couldn’t-

 

He didn’t even finish his thoughts before he ran home to Seungkwan.

 

Mrs. Boo had opened the door, shocked to see Vernon panting before her, begging to see Seungkwan. She had explained that he was upstairs, he had come home crying. Vernon bit his lip and walked inside, slowly going up the stairs to Seungkwan.

 

He rasped softly on the door, shocked when it slowly opened. Seungkwan was sat on the bed, talking on the phone. When he looked over and saw Vernon in the door frame, he sighed.

 

“Mingyu, I gotta go. Thanks for letting me vent.” He hung up, yet remained with his back turned to Vernon.

 

Vernon walked into the room, closing the door behind him.

 

“Seungkwan-” He began but was cut off by Seungkwan.

 

“Vernon, it’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for, I’m not mad.”

 

Vernon walked across the room, sitting on the opposite side of the bed, clasping his hands together in his lap. He tried to say something, but he couldn’t get anything out.

 

“I realized I couldn’t be mad at something like this, it’s selfish of me.” He sighed, flopping back onto the bed.

 

“I’m the one who should be sorry.” He whispered, closing his eyes as tears started to well up again. Vernon quickly turned to him, rushing to hug him and quiet his sobs.

 

“Hey, shh, don’t cry,” Vernon whispered, rubbing a hand through his hair.

 

Seungkwan kept crying, wrapped in Vernon’s arms, the younger rubbing his back and head in hopes to calm him.

 

Seungkwan finally calmed down, taking a deep breath. “Thank you.”

 

“I love you.”

 

Seungkwan looked at Vernon, his eyes widened. “What?”

 

“I love you Seungkwan. No, I’m in love with you.”

 

“Vernon, I-” Vernon cut him off, his hands reaching for Seungkwan’s face, pulling him for a kiss. Seungkwan was shocked, but his eyes fluttered closed as Vernon kissed him, their movements becoming one. They kept kissing, their kisses become rough and frantic and when they pulled apart their hair was messy and their lips were red and swollen.

 

They sparks fly when you have your first kiss, but for Vernon and Seungkwan, they didn’t feel any different. They had been in love this whole time without even realizing.

 

“I love you Seungkwan,” Vernon whispered again, kissing his forehead, then his cheek, then his nose, before finally meeting his lips. “I love you so much.”

 

Seungkwan smiled into the kiss, “And I love you.”

 

+i.

 

Seungkwan held Vernon’s hand as the two walked onto their plane and into their seats for their flight back home. Their Jeju trip had come to a close and the two boys were headed back to their idol life, not before being showered with hugs and kisses from Mrs. Boo and a promise that they would be back soon. Seungkwan shoved his bag into the overhead as Vernon held onto Seungkwan’s stuff, his other hand squeezing Seungkwan’s. The overhead closed shut and Seungkwan sighed in relief, collapsing in the seat next to Vernon.

 

He laid his head on Vernon’s shoulder, their hands still twined, as the pilot announced their take-off.

 

Vernon squeezed Seungkwan’’s hand, “Are you ready?”

 

Seungkwan looked at Vernon, his eyes bright and his smile blinding, he nodded; kissing Vernon’s cheek as the plane began its takeoff.

 

“With you, I’m ready for anything.”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hello! thank you for reading this, it's actually my first full length fic and i'm pretty proud of it :-) 
> 
> svt club ep 8 made me softtt and i knew i had to write a fic about vernon and seungkwan in love.
> 
> hope you enjoyed! as always you can follow my twitter svts_boos


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